Deeds not words: Men’s role in violence prevention

Australia’s National Plan to End Violence Against Women and Children has a bold ambition: to eliminate gendered violence within a generation. It is clear that the primary prevention of gendered violence is key to the achievement of that ambition.

There have been enthusiastic debates over the last month about the methods and approaches we should adopt to prevent gendered violence. Whichever approach we take, the aim remains the same: to create a world where women, girls and gender diverse people are free from the threat and actuality of gendered violence. This is the world we want for the next generation, and we owe it to them to do everything in our power to achieve this vision.

The role of men and boys in preventing gendered violence has always been a hot topic of discussion and debate. Men and boys are indeed a central part of the equation. At a minimum, they represent half of the population – social, cultural and systemic change will not happen without them. Second, many men hold powerful positions in our society. They are over-represented as employers, decision makers, board members, politicians, CEOs and are therefore well placed to make decisions that promote gender equality. Third, there is no question that men are the main perpetrators of gendered violence. This is a group that literally holds the solution in their hands.

What exactly do we expect men to do to make a difference? As the adage goes, in the case of preventing gendered violence, actions do really speak louder than words.

From a feminist intersectional perspective, men ‘speaking up’ cannot be the end game. It cannot even be a big focus of what is expected of men. There are so many other actions that we need men to take that will make a bigger difference than adding their voices to the many voices already denouncing gendered violence and demanding change.

As the famous ‘Not All Men’ hashtag suggests, not all men are responsible for gendered violence. But all men do have a sphere of influence, an area in their lives where they can exercise their power to make a material difference in women’s lives. Any actions men can take that shifts the dial on gender equality will go further than a well-meaning speech at the local rotary.

Men who are employers can directly reduce the gendered migrant pay gap. They can ensure that migrant and refugee women and gender diverse people are equitably recruited, promoted, encouraged, trained and paid in their workplaces and industries.

Men in government have opportunities to facilitate changes to policy and legislation that adversely impact on women. Australia’s current migration policy for example, makes women on temporary visas  dependent on their spouses and families, and makes it more difficult for them to act independently and in their own interests. For these reasons, they often endure longer periods of sustained violence, due to the threat of deportation and the loss of their children. If men are committed to preventing violence against women, this would be a good place to start.

Men can also contribute more actively to the care economy through both paid and unpaid care work, and political decision makers can facilitate this change. On the home front, men who parent, partner, or share a household with women, can take on an equal part of the emotional and practical workload. This would actively prevent women’s time and energy being consumed by housework or childcare, leaving them with more opportunities for meaningful and well-paid employment. This has the added benefit of enabling men to contribute to care, and in doing so, transform the practice and meaning of family and community care.

Culturally, men have multiple opportunities to model and promote gender equitable relationships in their families, workplaces, schools, community groups and sports clubs. In some such instances, rather than speaking up, they could purposely not speak up, enabling virtual and actual space for women and gender diverse people to take the floor, and for men to respectfully engage with their words and opinions.

Finally, while respectful relationship education in schools is vital, we cannot leave it to boys to shoulder the responsibility of an equitable future. We must never expect anything less than equality and respect from boys, but boys do not hold the keys to the kingdom.

A gender equal world is a world that we have talked about in an abstract way. But we have had enough talk. We now want to see men, within their sphere of influence, acting in meaningful and impactful ways to transform gender equality. We are desperate to inhabit this world in our homes, workplaces and community spaces. Our lives, and the lives of our children depend on it.

This article was first published in edition #133 of The WRAP on May 2024.