The costs of motherhood

Image// www/palmpressinc.com

Image// www.palmpressinc.com

May is a special time of year for many mothers, when children and partners take the time to acknowledge how much we owe to the mums in our lives. Of course someone has taken the time to figure out how much Australians spend on Mother’s Day (just over $2 billion including $200 million on flowers). But the cost of motherhood – the emotional, physical and financial investment that women make as mothers – continues to be relatively unquantifiable.

The flowers may have faded, the breakfasts and lunches and chocolates well and truly digested, but this May, along with the federal budget, there have been a few more reasons to think about mothers and what it costs to be one.

Even if we don’t have a clear bottom line about the costs of motherhood, we can definitely look to research for some indications. A recent study found that in families with young children, mothers do a great deal more unpaid work than fathers, even when they are not the ‘stay-at-home parent’. Stay-at-home mums devote 74 hours per week to housework and child care, compared to 47 hours for stay-at-home dads, a difference of 1,404 hours per year. When paid work comes into the picture, paid-working mothers do an extra 104 hours of unpaid housework and childcare per year in addition to their paid work than their dad counterparts.

Physical labour is one thing, but the mental load of motherhood is another, as is beautifully illustrated in a recent visual think piece from Emma. For most mothers, the common expectation that they will be in charge of household management does not shift when women take on additional roles including paid work. And of course, we all know how this translates into financial costs: the gender pay gap, the fight for access to maternity leave and discrimination against mothers in the workplace, to name a few.

Mothers are expected to work for love, not money, but cost is often the bottom line, and motherhood is very much a user-pays system. In the forever shifting landscape of temporary visas for example, motherhood now has a new price-tag. As part of the proposed federal budget this year, the government outlined a new temporary visa – which allows migrant parents to stay in Australia for up to 10 years for $20,000 and the cost of private health insurance. Migrant mums and dads who can afford the visa will not be allowed to conduct paid work. However, there is an expectation that they will make up an unpaid workforce of ‘Granny Nannies’. As Assistant Minister for Immigration Mr. Hawke said, ‘Grandparents will be available and able to, under this visa, care for their grandchildren while the parents work.’

Mothering is priceless and no-one wants to live without it. But economics are deeply gendered and it’s clear that despite the huge contribution to the economy that mothers and grandmothers make, the cost is largely carried by individual women. Social policy that is based on a user-pays ideology only makes women pay even more to be mothers and entrenches women’s disadvantage.

Mothers need to see their work valued. If we could develop social policy that recognises the intrinsic value that mothering brings to society as a whole, we would see more productive, gender equitable and sustainable outcomes. Forget the flowers, all our days would be mother’s days.

WRAP #17: The festive edition with music, Mary and 60 seconds with Alice Pung

Well we’ve made it people!

It’s been a fantastic year which has passed at break-neck speed and for many of us, there will soon be an opportunity for a small pause. Even for those of us who will still be toiling through December and January, there is something about the end of the old year and the approach of the new that makes you want to sing. Or scream. Or sigh. In all cases, there is an urge to use your voice.

We’d like to use ours to sing the praises of the wonderful women at MCWH, who cheer us on each month and make work fun. We’d also like to say to each of you: thank you for supporting us, staying in touch and sharing our stories with others. Thanks to those especially who came along to our AGM and birthday party … it was a wonderful event. And finally, we’d like to start your 2014 calendar with a brilliant February event that we are hosting with Women’s Health in the North, Mercy Health and North Yarra Community Health.

It’s called Voices of Change and if you want to hear a host of incredible women sharing stories of strength and success in relation to their work with FGM/C then get your ticket now!

Now for a light WRAP on music, Mary and 60 seconds with Alice Pung.

We’ll be taking a quick break from WRAPing in January (after too much wrapping in December ha ha) so we wish you all a wonderful and safe summer.

Until next time,
The WRAP Team.

 

Creole choir of Cuba performing at WOMAD 2011 courtesy of Stuart Madeley on flickr

A universal language

While merrily decking our office halls with boughs of holly, it occurred to us that even Christmas carols are not immune to gender analysis: where are the little drummer girls? Has Frosty always been a snow man? And why is it mummy kissing Santa Clause underneath the mistletoe? Like all products of culture, music—for better or worse—usually reflects the time and place from which it originates.

Singing along to ‘White Christmas’ may not be for everyone then, but chances are many of us will be breaking out our Bollywood moves, miming the macarena or hip-swaying to makossa because it makes us feel relaxed and joyous. Alive. Whatever your taste or persuasion, the power of music and song to unite, transform and uplift is the reason for its enduring appeal. Like some magical elixir, it somehow appeals to our better selves.

When we asked Ee’da Ibrahim what multiculturalism means to her she responded with a musical  metaphor: “It’s like a symphony of music, of sound—a beautiful orchestra where every single sound and instrument contributes overall to the beauty of the music.”  It’s a sentiment also found in the work of ‘Kween G’, a Sydney hip-hop MC and radio presenter who migrated to Australia from Uganda at the age of four. For Kween G, teaching hip-hop to indigenous youth in the Northern Territory is a way of transcending language and helping others to both preserve and transform their unique culture.

Youth has always been a time of change and, if you happen to be different to your peers by virtue of your skin colour, sexuality, culture and/or socio-economic circumstances, then music can be both a leveller and a life-raft. One young girl, a member of the ‘Recycled Orchestra’, puts it this way, “My life would be worthless without music.” This young girl lives in Cuerta, Paraguay, a city essentially built on top of a landfill. Much closer to home, the ‘With One Voice’ choir has membership from a range of immigrant communities and has led to networks and friendships being developed amongst and beyond the group. Choir members have literally been singing all the way to improved wellbeing.

You don’t have to believe in Santa to harness the magic of the season: go Gangnam Style, shimmy those tassels, sing your best karaoke— it’s the silly season after all—and remember that you are also participating in an enduring, life-changing art form. Share it widely and passionately.

 

Nativity play courtesy of CK Koay on flickr.

…but what about young Mary?

Christmas Day is arguably the largest birthday celebration of the year, which makes Jesus the most well-known birthday celebrant, at least in the Western world. Yet, despite knowing in detail the exploits of his father (the big G), few know as much about his mother, ‘The Virgin Mary’ (Jesus was an ‘immaculate conception’ so the story goes) beyond the fact that she was engaged to a carpenter and gave birth in a stable surrounded by three wise men.

Less well known is the fact that Mary was also a teenager when she gave birth (in some accounts, she may have been as young as 13). Of course, circa 6 B.C. was a very different time, people died young and it was common for girls to marry and bear children at a young age. Nevertheless, Mary of Nazareth was young, poor and female. Thousands of years and much research have shown that these qualities alone make it more difficult to achieve good health, let alone manage an adolescent pregnancy.

For the millions of young girls each year who experience an unplanned or unintended pregnancy, opportunities for education are reduced and vulnerability to poverty and social exclusion are heightened. Although the majority of adolescent pregnancies (19%) and adolescent births (95%) occur in less industrialised countries, the causes and consequences of adolescent pregnancy cut across regions. You are more likely to become pregnant if you are poor; poorly educated; culturally marginalised; and/or have limited or lack access to appropriate sexual and reproductive health care.

According to the latest UNFPA ‘Motherhood in Childhood’ Report’, adolescent pregnancy is both a cause and consequence of rights violations. Regardless of the circumstances or reasons, when a girl falls pregnant it often stems from lack of choice and opportunity and is a reflection of powerlessness (and in many cases, is a result of violence and coercion). It can also significantly diminish a young woman’s choices throughout her life.

Prevention of unplanned and unintended pregnancy should therefore focus on ensuring girls can exercise their rights to health, education and autonomy in the first place. A broad-based human rights approach requires that we shift the focus away from targeting prevention at girls and instead, invest in building their capacity to make transformative decisions.

Australian birth data suggests that some overseas-born adolescents have a higher fertility rate than their Australian-born peers.  Exactly why this is the case needs further investigation.  Girls and adolescents from immigrant and refugee backgrounds do need access to culturally relevant sexual and reproductive health information and education. However, it’s never just purely and simply about ‘their culture’. The complex interplay of forces in young girls’ lives needs consideration. It’s essential that we speak with and listen first to what they have to say.

60 seconds with Alice Pung

Alice Pung

writer, editor and lawyer

If you were a super-heroine, what powers would you like to have?
I would like the power of invisibility so I could be a silent witness and eavesdropper in places where I am not supposed to be – this would be an invaluable power for a writer!

 What’s the most interesting job you’ve had?
Teaching older people in Alaska to tell their stories in writing workshops

If you could give one piece of advice to someone new to Australian culture, what would it be?
Try and learn as much English as you can. It opens up the new world for you, and will keep you connected to your children as they grow up in this country.

If you could invite anyone (dead or living) to dinner tonight, who would it be?
Aung San Suu Kyi

Tell me about an amazing woman you know.
My grandmother was essentially a single mother with ten kids in Cambodia (because she was the second wife of my granddad – back then, Chinese men could have multiple wives). She started a plastic bag factory until the Khmer Rouge took over, and she came to Australia at the age of 72, as the oldest surviving member of her work collective in the Killing Fields. She had a lot of time and love for us, and an innate sense of dignity. Even after she had a stroke, and was in a wheelchair, she would not have a photograph taken without her lipstick on. I do not see that as vanity, but as a sign of enormous self-respect. She did not want to be ‘young’, she just didn’t want people to see her as decrepit.

Name a book or film that changed your life?
I have Never Forgotten You: The Story of Simon Weisenthal. He was a holocaust survivor that spent most of his life bringing war criminals of the Nazi regime to justice. It was not work that he enjoyed doing, and he suffered greatly for his work, which he did up till his death in his nineties. But through his life’s work, he was instrumental in helping Europe heal its wounds.

What are you reading right now? (e.g. blogs, books, magazines, or anything else!)
I just read an incredible profile of a homeless 11 year old girl, Dasani, in New York City, written by Andrea Elliot, who spent over a year following Dasani around. It was a story of great resilience, empathy and hope; and also longform journalism at its finest.

Do you have a song/music that inspires and motivates you?
All the songs of Michael Jackson, from his childhood years. He had such an angelic voice.

Is there a favourite cultural tradition that you like to follow?
I love coming back to my parent’s house for Chinese New Year. It is very important to my mother, because when she arrived here, she lost the one thing she had looked forward to every year – in Southeast Asia, new year is as big, if not bigger, than Christmas, and it signifies family time and new hope and new beginnings.

What does multiculturalism mean to you?
Multiculturalism means that we are collectively enriched by our individual cultures.

Do you think Australia is multicultural?
In urban areas, there is a very unselfconscious multiculturalism happening because different groups, by circumstance, live together. So multiculturalism is not a ‘big deal’ like the media makes it out to be, it is just a nice pre-existing reality. It only becomes a problem when the media decides to point this out. Then, the people in communities that do not have such diversity, are usually the ones who are most vocal about it.

Finish this sentence: “We need feminism because…”
… if you didn’t have it, you are denying the rights of fifty percent of the human inhabitants on this planet, who have just a tiny fraction of the world’s resources, and yet are responsible for the birth, growth and usually, education, of the entire human race.